Ponders.....

Looking up into the sky, i wondered, how far were the stars from where i was. Feeling the breeze of the wind, i wondered, how long will the wind continue blowing. Walking along the concrete ground, i wondered, how long did it took them to make such a pavement. I closed my eyes, enjoyed the wind, the ever blowing breeze, as it caressed me, it soothened my soul and calmed me down. I smiled, i just loved the wind. As i gazed into the sky full of stars, i began to ponder about alot of things, i began to see my past, my present.

I began to think of what i have been throught the pass years back in Malacca. The times i made friends, the times i seperated from them, the times i enjoyed the friendships, the times i was hurt by the friendship in which i put so much trust in. Then, many events just ran through my head, from the memories kept so well in the brain. I began to shut my eyes and see all the happy moments and also many heartbreaking ones as well. Shoke my head, opened my eye lids, and the memories were gone, atleast for that period of time.

I positioned my head once more and found myself looking straight into the moon, it was round and shining ever bright. As the light shone on my face, i closed my eyes and began to float into the most recent memories in my life. I thought of people in whom came into my life over here in college, i began to see the faces in whom had made a very great impact in my life in these past few months. Every encouraging words began to pound once more in my ears, every insult, every criticism. I thought about each one of them and realised that some were true and some were not, then unjust criticism began to annoy me, i closed my ears, shoke my head, opened my eyes, and it was back to normal, atleast for that period of time.

This time I positioned myself such that i was able to see both the moon and the stars, as i was enjoying the beauty of the natural lights, a strong breeze came rushing my way, flooding my head with thoughts, i closed my eyes. I began to think of myself currently, i began to judge myself, how i rate compared to others, i began to think about many other things as well, i thought of love, i thought of life, i thought of death. Then the thought of losing close ones came into my head, i was frightened by it, shoke my head, opened my eyes, and it was gone, atleast for that period of time.

My eyes stopped focusing on the sky, i began to feel the whole atmosphere surrounding me, and a sense of comfort came upon me. I started singing and humming how good God was, is and is to come, i began to praise and worship Him in silence and sincerity; pondering about how wonderful God was, is and is to come. And i thanked Him for everything that i have been through, everything that i am going through and everything that i will be going through. I walked back to my room with ease and thankfulness, no longer pondering upon thoughts in which seemed so meaningless afterall.