Time

Time is a great factor. It heals damages and it does damages as well. What really amaze me is that, people change through time, and they actually really do. Forgiveness comes throught time too, =). And time has really changed me, coming to Sunway and all. Life i great here, especially when you meet so many people that encourages you every single day. Well, im gonna take some time here to list out those that had been really encouraging me, and due to time constraint i'll only name out the CF committee people, because these are the people that really made me feel so semangated..lolz.=)

1st of all, Liang, hehe, our CF president..hehehe..He's a great guy, he basically has been a real encouragement to me in these six months. I respect him, and the more i know him, the more i respect him. He has great leadership quality, he's caring and loving as well. His self-control and realistic personality really amazed me. The way he looks that things and the way he handles them, taught me alot.=)

Then there's Oon-Ee, our CF vice-pres, this is one guy in whom i respect alot too. Went Thailand mission trip with him early this year and he really encouraged me through his passion and actions. He really loves God and is a really great person, well, he's my cousin now so...lol...he's serious sometimes, scary most would say, but i would say, he's a man of few words and he does more than he speaks.=)

Steven Tan is next,=), our very own music coordinator, one God loving guy in whom i respect alot. This guy has alot of passion and semangat in him, he does so much in Church and CF and yet do so well in his studies. RESPECT!!lol..he really encourages me with his commitment and love for the Lord, and there's one thing he taught me in which i would always keep in mind "In a relationship with your future spouse, its not good to have a face to face relationship, but should be more to a shoulder to shoulder relationship, and both facing towards God."=)

Then we have Vincent Lim, our logistic guy, =P. He's a really caring guy, big friendly giant but kind at heart. He has been a great big bro to me all these while, shared my probs with him and he did the same in return as well, and the thing about Vincent is that, i just feel comfortable talking to him. =) His faith in God really amazes me and encourages me tons.=)

Next up, Sharon, =). Our CF secretary. Well, i don't personally know her that well, but she's a nice girl and really loves God. She encouraged me alot when i 1st became part of the committee; always praising my work, tho there's lots of mistakes here and there but she sees good things in everything and that really encourages me to do better. Thanks Sharon =)

Then there's Shu Yi(KG coordinator), YAY!! This girl is one friendly fella i ever met. She actually knew my name after my 1st visit. COOL!!lol...she's very much a jie jie to me over here. We talk alot about many things, she gives me advices and encourages me by dropping by with a few encouraging words which really touches my heart. She's a sweet and loving girl at heart and cares for many.=)

Steven Ling (our MUSA guy. thts wat i know him as=P)!!!lol...slingy..=P. This guy is one caring guy. lol. When he sees me tired and all, he'll ask me whether im alright or not. lolz...and he's really nice to talk to too!! When he found out that i switched to Alevels, he actually took some time out to help me with the posters and talk to me, after talking to him, i felt really GOOD!! He really encourages me and give me hope. Thanks man.=)

Up next.....ANNA!!!lolz....anna anna anna, as Liang would call her EENAAA..lol. Anna is a nice girl, our prayer coordinator. She's sweet and caring. She's really matured and this really encourages me alot. She works hard and respect people, she has a kind heart and an understanding one as well. She's a good listener as well.=) She invited me to rock climb that day.lol, how nice of her=)

Lastly, JAS!!!!full name Jacintha Ganit Tagal. Tribe: Lun Bawang. lol..our treasurer. The reason her name is last its because i've got lots to say about her.=) This girl i met when i was so called tricked into doing the welcome party for the monashians early this year, lolz.. She's great and fun, and very friendly too. Basically, she has been a really really great and close friend to me.=) She encouraged me when im down, prayed for me and cared for me as a friend( how wonderful of her =) ) But what i really respect and admire of her is her life and the way she's living it. The things that she's been through and the way she dealt with it and the way she looked at it. She showed me many times what is our true purpose in life, and she made me realised that smiling all the time is great!!lol..she smiles all the time =). A strong girl she is, and many would definitely agree with me on this, and she's really in love with the Lord. Spiritually, she has encouraged me alot and as a friend she's done much and i really appreciate her.=) Am really glad that i met her here. Its been a blessing knowing you jas, its been a real blessing. Thanks=).

Life has been different knowing these people, they're great and really passionate. And ofcourse there are many other friends out there as well in which i have no time to write about, they have encouraged me alot too. Thanks people. And to the SMCF committee members, its been a blessing to have met you all and its my honour to be able to serve with all of you. You guys and gals(lol) has blessed my life much and i really admire what you guys are doing, appreciate you all alot.=) Thanks guys.

solitary

Humans are not created to live alone, God 1st created Adam, then Eve. Its so obvious to many that God is trying to tell us something, but what. Perhaps what He said so clearly to Adam and Eve, " Go forth and multiply." But i believe there is more to that. Human needs company, they work together, they interact, they communicate, they just find each other lovable and attractive. There will come a time in which where two homosapiens come together hand in hand and make a covenant with God and one another, probably the most promising and heavy commitment to be made in life-marriage.

Then they will go on to live their lives, but this time, not so much as lives, but life. As two hearts join together, so would their lives join together as one. Such is life? Great isn't it? You marry, you make love, you have yourself a next generation in your blood line, what more could you ask?

Personally, i love being alone. Honestly, i do have times in which i feel lonely, yet i still love being alone. Thats me, and im not planning to change abit on that, because, changing that part of me, i wont be the same Jien i used to be. I once asked a friend "Would you like to marry one day?"

She replied almost immediately " Ofcourse, who wouldnt."

A standard answer indeed, but i replied "Well, i don't mind being single for the rest of my life."

She was quite surprised and asked "Why?"

I smiled and said "I believe that God's love is great and perfect, and i believe that His love is more than enough for me, and if it is His will for me not to get married, so be it, i can survive through Him."

I thought i answered quite inteligently, then a question came flying my direction, "What if you are given a choice, will you choose to marry or not to?"

I must say, i was some what dumb founded by the question, but i replied after putting some thoughts to it, i replied honestly from my heart "Well, honestly, i'll choose to marry, if i am given a choice, but that is if it is God's will and not mine alone."

What my friend pointed out to me was really significant. She showed me that no matter how much we man loved to be alone some times or even many times, we still desire company. She made me realised that solitary's completeness is the question of the heart. I began to ask myself a very simple question, "Do i really feel happy about being alone? Or am i just saying that for the sake of self denial of what i am really seeking for, what i really desire? "

Searching deep into my soul, i have to be honest that i do many times enjoy people's company, i do enjoy spending time with friends. Do i feel left out at times? Who doesnt? Come on, lets be honest here. I admit, i do desire attention at times, but my nature is to step back many times in life and just enjoy what is going on about me. I am more of the type where as long as people is happy, i am happy. I don't really prefer to join in the fun, i prefer to be at the sideline, work behind the stage, doing things for people without their knowledge. Nobility some would call it, but i call it, me, nothing special, nothing to be proud of, because this does not differ me from others, it doesnt make me better than others. Solitary is me and i am solitary. Its just a personality.

I was wondering recently, about why i feel so comfortable being alone. Then something hit me. All these while, i wasnt alone. God was with me, and that is true. Everytime i fret about my disappointments alone in the room, God was there. Everytime i feel frustrated and leftout, God was there. Everytime i spent time alone pondering on thoughts, God was there. Even as i pen down my thoughts now, God is with me. I found the true reason behind the comfortable feeling of being alone, it was afterall, not being alone at all.

Physically, i am indeed alone, but spiritually i am not. No matter how, no matter what, i can never escape what God made me for in the 1st place. I can shun away from man, but never from God, He created me, and thus He lives in me and I in Him.=)

Solitary is bliss when you realised that you were never alone all this while afterall.=)

Such is life

Coming back to malacca was indeed wonderful, it wasnt so much of the journey itself, but more of the moments i went through here. Relatives from as far as America returned to this small little town to attend a great and once in a life time event: My cousin's wedding=) (guess from the picture below you can guess who is who la...my cousin's family)(LOOK AT THE BRIDE!!ISN'T THE BRIDEGROOM A LUCKY AND BLESSED MAN??HAHAHAHAHA....everyone that marries a Pang family is..cept for me la, cos i'll be the blessed one instead=P)

Weddings are always nice, but remember, there is a huge difference between wedding and marriage. Yes, wedding is nice, cool, exciting, you spend a whole day preparing for it, thinking about it, then the time comes where you are in your best attire, walking up the aisle to meet the love of your life. Saying all the vows, holding each others hands announcing the two most convincing words in your life to come "I do". Thats the moment everyone hope and wish for, but bare in mind that weddings are always happy, weddings are there just for that moment of time, while marriage is a life long thing. A commitment in which you'll bare on your shoulders for the rest of your life. Wedding is a head start of a marriage, and right after that, you'll begin a new life, and thats marriage.(so complicated hor...better stay single for d rest of my life la =P)

cousins from America, from left : Andrew, Aaron(he's same age as me, back when we were young, we were like best friends when they came back from states for holidays=), ahhh..those were the days), Rachel, Rebecca(The cute lil girl, very smart too, skipping grade one, WOW!!!when i 1st saw her i was like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!sooooooooooooooooo CUTE!!!hehe..), Shu Xyuen, and Eric...=)


The second generation of Pang family(the brothers) From left :My eldest uncle from states(real smart guy, love him lots, very encouraging and close to my family..hehe), my second uncle(bride's dad), my daddy!!(Wise, great, loving, fun, serious, and very much so himself all the time, love him lots =)), my 4th uncle(when i was young, always goes to his house for holidays, back in secondary school days, would even help out in his super market=)), and last of all, my last uncle(youngest among the boys(haha..dunno still qualify to be called boys or not.=P)


My aunties!!!the sisters of Pang family. From right : My eldest aunty from KL(i came back malacca by following her car.hehe, really nice aunty, she prays for me all the time, respect and love her lots), my second aunty(used to find her quite annoying, all us do actually, but I've learnt to love her just as she is=)), my thrid aunt from states(don't really know her that well, but she's nice =)), lastly my last aunt, the youngest of them all(she used to bring back pressies for us when we were young, she stays in Hong Kong, she's really nice and caring as well =))There!!A complete picture of the Pang second generation siblings, where's the parents? The answer is, they are at a better place=) a very much better place=D. Ahhh, the Pang brothers and sisters, each of them are married and have kids, what is more, their kids are getting married, and this will go on and on, such is life, such is life. Time moves like the wind, it waits not for you, it cares not for you, life goes on, but this moment will always be cherished and treasured in all our hearts, for its a new beginning of a potential new generation of the PANG FAMILY.=)
Ahhhh....Happy family..=), this is also another rare picture, not easy to have cousins from so far to come over. A picture worth a thousand words, am glad to be in it.=)

Weddings need alot of preparation, my mom told me that taking wedding pictures itself cost both the bride and bridegroom RM5000.00, i was like wow!!when i heard it. Not only that, they actually spend the whole day just choosing scenaries and posing with nice posture for the photographer ( so very mafan and expensive) =P. The funniest thing i can recall from the wedding is during the morning session where everyone was in the bride's house, the bridegroom arrived abit later than expected and according to chinese custom, he has to bribe his way throught to get the bride out of her locked room. There he came with his red packets and flower standing at the door trying all types of ways to get to the love of his life. There was one condition given, he was suppose to say " i love you " to her in as many languages he knows, i must say i was quite impressed by the amount of languages he can speak(of course he has friends to help him)=P. But, after completing all the task , the door was still locked, and the funniest thing happened; the bride's mother went to the door and knocked saying "Wei, come on!Open the door, we're late!!!"(and indeed we were behind schedule..lolz..then only the door was unlocked and there it was the prettiest lady in the house, sitted right there, awaiting for the roses and a kiss to bring her out of the room and onto the very spot where they make the most important decision of their lives with only two words. Two words to join two lives into one, one word to hold the one life till death parts them-commitment. Such is life, such is life.=)

What happened to the fire?

It was sunday, same old sunday, a day like every other day. The clock struck 7, and i decided to answer to my stomach, the long craving for food organ. Dinner!!Where to?where else? I dragged my feet from my isolated room into to the lift, and walked sluggishly to the condo's cafe to grab some food(like always). I went to the counter, said to the counter lady "Take away, crispy chicken rice, black papper sauce." Paid for it, and was about to slump against the wall to wait for my order, suddenly, i heard my name being called out "Jien!!" I turned, and saw Yeong Wei(my poster saviour) standing at the door leading to a balcony, "we're here, come join us for dinner." I looked abit further and saw two familiar faces, sitting there was Steven Tan(CF's music coordinator- one God loving guy in whom i respect alot), and there was Gideon(Big friendly giant).

I went out, got myself a chair and sat down, then we started yakking..yada yada...we talked about many things ranging from me having just woke up and didnt change my shirt to football matches. Then suddenly, it was all silent, a serious atmosphere took over, Steven turned to me and asked " How are you?"

i as usual answered "im fine, why?"

He then calmly said "When you 1st came, you're very fire up, now the fire like psssssssssssssstttt gone ready, what happened to the fire?"

I was stunned by the question. Some how or the other, maybe i was trying to avoid the tense feeling of silence at that point, quickly answered " Well, the fire is still there, just that its quieter than before."

He nodded, then Gideon crapped something, and we went on talking.

The next morning, I was chatting with Shu Yi, and I suddenly related to her about what Steven asked me that night. Before going off, she asked me a simple question, in which left me pondering with thoughts for quite a long time. She said "Jien, ask yourself one simple question, why did the fire became quieter?"

After the convosation with my all time jie jie over here in Sunway College, I thought for quite sometime, and realised something, the fire didnt became quieter for no reasons, the fire became quieter but hasnt lost its power, its flame.

I quiet down alot. Especially after CF camp, and after some bad experiences with some so called friends over here(YES..In sunway, not malacca, unbelievable eh, didnt expected that to happen here as well). I think the reason for the fire to quiet down is because of the way i see things, i began to quiet down and realised many things. I began to see friends around me who were there all these while but i didnt noticed. Back when i was hyper, i had many friends but little true and close friends, as i began to quiet down, I realised that I actually form a better relationship with people around me than before.

My perspective changed, I became some what wiser, and i began to realise and understand the power of silence. Keeping quiet at times, move lesser, talk lesser, but act more, do more, actions are greater than words.

Yes, the fire may be quieter than before, but its still burning every brightly and ever fiercely. The question is whether do i want to show it or not? Well, i choose not to, not in the way i used to, but in a different way. Keeping and storing the energy for better use is essential, but i always remind myself that i can never accomplish anything with my strenght alone, but with God's strenght i can. For with God, nothing is impossible.

The fire is still burning, burning for God, not for anything else, but for God alone.=)

Love, Faith, Hope...

With love comes faith, and with faith, comes hope. As they say, there's three important elements in life, love, faith and hope, and love is the greatest of them all. Without love, you wont have faith, and without faith, you wont have hope, thus love leads to everything and everything comes from love. Love is affection, love is trust, love is everything you need, love is the only thing in your life that would fulfill all things, it doesnt matter who you are, it doesnt matter what you want, it doesnt matter what you are looking for in life, because, without love, everything would be meaningless.

Love is mercy, love is kind, love is unexplainable and love is just plain love. To love someone, is to be able to trust the person as much as you trust yourself. To love someone is to be able to sacrifice whatever you have for the person, including your own life. To love someone is to be able to forgive forever for whatever fault the person makes. To love someone is to be able to accept the person for who he or she is. Loving someone is to love the person for no other reasons but because he or she is no one else but themselves.

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Faith is the confidence in something you believe in. To have faith, first have confidence, to have confidence you have to believe strongly in what you believe in. Faith doesnt come over night, faith is built and grown over a long period of time. To have faith is to have no fear or doubt in whatever you believe, but, remember, faith cannot exist without love, this is because with love comes belief, and with that comes faith. Faith does the right thing at the right time.

Hope is something in which people want and really wish for. It is something that brings life out of a person, something in which gives a person a sense of fulfillment in his or her life. Without hope, there is no life at all.

These all come with a choice, you make a choice to love, you make a choice to have faith, then you will have hope in life. Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you will to love somebody, you can. And with love comes faith, and with faith comes hope, and with hope comes life. A life without love, is no life at all.

Words

Words are spoken, some encourage, others hurt, as they say, you can tame almost everything in the world, but never the tongue.

Words cut sharper than the blade, they pierce through you without your knowledge. Words are the strongest weapon of all. Words stop wars, words trigger wars, words encourage people, words bring inspirations, but words also bring a person's down fall. Words hurt alot, especially when they are spoken at the wrong time.

Speak what your hearts desire, but remember this rule when you speak, if you want to speak about someone, speak the truth and speak it right in the face of the person. For critical words do hurt, but they hurt more when the person finds out about it, not through your mouth, but the tongue of others.

Words come out of our mouth, sometimes so sudden, almost without any thoughts to it. Ask yourself a question, when is the last time you praise someone? When is the last time you actually tell someone that she look pretty or he is smart? It's been awhile since you do that huh? Why is it so hard to praise people? Why is it so difficult for us to open our mouth and tell someone that he or she is doing well?

One day, a little boy took an apple out of the refrigerator, he washed it and wanted to take the first bite, but, before biting the apple, he realised that at top of the apple there was a small part of it which was spoilt, without thinking further, he took the apple and wanted to throw it into the dustbin. A hand came and stopped him, it was his mom, she said " Why are you throwing the apple into the dustbin?" the little boy answered " It's spoilt at d top, can't eat it, so i decided to throw it away." his mom took the apple from him, took a knife, and cut off the part of the apple in which was spoilt and passed it back to the little boy, then said "Look, it isn't spoilt now, isn't it? All you need is to cut of the part which is spoilt, then you'll have an edible apple again." The little boy, took the apple, smiled and went away eating it happily.

Similary, we are like apples, everyone of us, thus try and focus on the good points of each person instead of their bad points, then you will be able to praise someone sincerely through your heart. Remember, the fist does much, the mind does more, but words, does most; it crushes hopes and it builds them up, it comes meaninglessly sometimes, but it stays forever in our hearts, words affect people's life, words encourage and discourage one. Words are the greatest weapon and yet, at the same time, the greatest aid.

Age....moments....life....hope.

The seconds ticked at the constant speed, gradually bringing me closer and closer to a different age of my life.

With one last surge of energy, i became 18. Alright!!!18!!!What does that mean? Lots!! Movies(18 rated one la), adulthood( ya meh? still feel like a kid =P) etc.

Though, the one second of movement in time had cause the integer in my age to change, but really, i don't feel anything; i don't feel older, i don't feel more mature, i don't feel any different, i don't even feel anything at all, its well, just like any other day.

Birthday wishes began to flood my computer screen and my cell phone's inbox massegers, calls came, wishing me with the ever sweetest voices, all these made me smile.

I've always wondered, why celebrate a birthday? isnt it just a normal day like any other day? Yes, to me, it was and it is still like any other normal days, probably that is why i dont fancy birthday party on my birthday, and infact i prefer to spend it alone; like many of my other days, my birthday, is just like one of them.

But what is special about this day is it actually leads me to wonder about the moments i've spent with my friends; be it ten years down the road or five years, what so ever( i dont live that long in the world yet =P), i began to think and ponder about the moments i've spent with all my various types of friends, the quarrels, the fights, the fellowship, the times when we just lie down and keep silent, the time when we run around being clowns, every moments hit me straight in the heart, and until then, i realised that my life of 17 years was and is indeed meaningful.

Yes, it is like any other day, no doubt about that, nothing special, nothing great, but it is on this day in which you realise that life is caught in the lob of time. Like it or not, you can never escape, like it or not, you can never rebel against it, like it or not, you'll grow older no matter what. Time stops for no one, moments come and go like the wind, but stays in the heart forever, age climbs higher and higher, life goes on, but all these are meaningless, what really matters is whether you have grown spiritually and mentally. Whether you have grown in heart, soul and mind.

That is why i do not take my birthday as some important and eventful day, i believe that everyday is equally as important as this day. We grow each day, growing is a process that acts through time, every second we grow in thoughts and understanding. We may look 30 outside, but is still a child in the inside, or we may look 15 outside but have a maturity of an adult in the mind and soul.

Yet on the other hand, age brings us experiences in which thoughts and hours spent on pondering cannot bring, the older we grow the more we experience and understand life. As simple as to that, age brings moments, moments brings life, and life brings hope.
Happy Birthday Lih-Jien.

A gift that earns a smile.=)

3rd of June, a Saturday, my bag was yet again back into its usual self; 'big butt' was not to be seen anymore. Really, its just a stuff toy, but a stuff toy as it is, it made a child smiled, not only for that moment, but probably, for the rest of her life. I have to admit, parting with 'big butt' wasnt easy, but giving it to someone in whom needed it more than i do, made the stuff toy which hanged around my bag everyday more than just a decoration. The act, ironically allowed a lifeless object to bring life out of a life itself.

The Fellowship of the Racquets =p

The time will come when all has to be put away, and the racquets are to gather together to form a fellowship; THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RACQUETS. Three of them, side by side, handle by handle, string by string; they stand together, and will fall together if that is the means to do so. Similary, in life, there would come a time where calamity happens, and all your acquaintances leave you. Friends you thought who are true friends turn out to disappoint you, and thus is the time where true friends really show up; the number may be small, or it may be big, but what really matters is when true friends stick together, they would be just like the fellowship of the racquets-standing side by side, hand in hand, hearts with hearts, minds join minds, souls meet souls, but the only difference is, when you fall, your friends would pick you up. Friendship is like a race where when you fall, the rest stop their movement, turn around, pick you up and run along side you till the finish line.

Will good things last?

Shining stars in the sky,
Glowing worms in the cave,
Both of great beauty ever bright,
Fade away all in a night.

Good things come and go like the wind, appreciate and enjoy them while you can, but God's love is overwhelming and long lasting, infact forever. Good things do last for awhile, but if we appreciate them, they'll remain forever in our memory and our hearts. As the same with God's love; if we accept it, its forever ours, the only difference is, good things come and go like the wind, they wait not for you, they spare not your moments, you missed it, your business, but God's love move like the time, it follows you as you journey through life-the greatest gift of all, which existed before the creation of heaven and earth, and would last for eternity...