solitary

Humans are not created to live alone, God 1st created Adam, then Eve. Its so obvious to many that God is trying to tell us something, but what. Perhaps what He said so clearly to Adam and Eve, " Go forth and multiply." But i believe there is more to that. Human needs company, they work together, they interact, they communicate, they just find each other lovable and attractive. There will come a time in which where two homosapiens come together hand in hand and make a covenant with God and one another, probably the most promising and heavy commitment to be made in life-marriage.

Then they will go on to live their lives, but this time, not so much as lives, but life. As two hearts join together, so would their lives join together as one. Such is life? Great isn't it? You marry, you make love, you have yourself a next generation in your blood line, what more could you ask?

Personally, i love being alone. Honestly, i do have times in which i feel lonely, yet i still love being alone. Thats me, and im not planning to change abit on that, because, changing that part of me, i wont be the same Jien i used to be. I once asked a friend "Would you like to marry one day?"

She replied almost immediately " Ofcourse, who wouldnt."

A standard answer indeed, but i replied "Well, i don't mind being single for the rest of my life."

She was quite surprised and asked "Why?"

I smiled and said "I believe that God's love is great and perfect, and i believe that His love is more than enough for me, and if it is His will for me not to get married, so be it, i can survive through Him."

I thought i answered quite inteligently, then a question came flying my direction, "What if you are given a choice, will you choose to marry or not to?"

I must say, i was some what dumb founded by the question, but i replied after putting some thoughts to it, i replied honestly from my heart "Well, honestly, i'll choose to marry, if i am given a choice, but that is if it is God's will and not mine alone."

What my friend pointed out to me was really significant. She showed me that no matter how much we man loved to be alone some times or even many times, we still desire company. She made me realised that solitary's completeness is the question of the heart. I began to ask myself a very simple question, "Do i really feel happy about being alone? Or am i just saying that for the sake of self denial of what i am really seeking for, what i really desire? "

Searching deep into my soul, i have to be honest that i do many times enjoy people's company, i do enjoy spending time with friends. Do i feel left out at times? Who doesnt? Come on, lets be honest here. I admit, i do desire attention at times, but my nature is to step back many times in life and just enjoy what is going on about me. I am more of the type where as long as people is happy, i am happy. I don't really prefer to join in the fun, i prefer to be at the sideline, work behind the stage, doing things for people without their knowledge. Nobility some would call it, but i call it, me, nothing special, nothing to be proud of, because this does not differ me from others, it doesnt make me better than others. Solitary is me and i am solitary. Its just a personality.

I was wondering recently, about why i feel so comfortable being alone. Then something hit me. All these while, i wasnt alone. God was with me, and that is true. Everytime i fret about my disappointments alone in the room, God was there. Everytime i feel frustrated and leftout, God was there. Everytime i spent time alone pondering on thoughts, God was there. Even as i pen down my thoughts now, God is with me. I found the true reason behind the comfortable feeling of being alone, it was afterall, not being alone at all.

Physically, i am indeed alone, but spiritually i am not. No matter how, no matter what, i can never escape what God made me for in the 1st place. I can shun away from man, but never from God, He created me, and thus He lives in me and I in Him.=)

Solitary is bliss when you realised that you were never alone all this while afterall.=)